I have been thinking a lot about love lately. The good kind of love. The love that nurtures you. The love that helps you grow. The love that makes you feel safe. The love that balances you out. The love that makes you sigh deeply…. Or is it just me that sighs deeply when content.?
I guess there are two reasons I have been thinking about love so much. Tomorrow, the 19th, would have been my parent’s 49th wedding anniversary. I miss my mother immensely. But I know my father who built a life with her misses her so much more. Yesterday, my father told me that he wished my mom was still alive for so many reasons. But the main reason is because next year they would have celebrated 50 years together. And he would very much have liked to have a party with her.!
Who is this man.? Have I mentioned my father is a macho man.?! Did I mention he got teary-eyed when he told me that.! After all of their years together, he still wants one more day, one more month, one more year. Ah este amor.! But instead, he has to make due taking me to lunch; while, I watch his every move to make sure he’s not too sad. But if my mom was here, love would fill his senses and a smile would ripple across his face.
And I too am sad. I too am alone right now. My love is very far away from me. And I miss him more every day. It was not so bad in the beginning when I initially moved back to Chicago. But lately, I find myself listening to the playlist de mi movio every single day.! All day long.! Just to catch the subtle nuances of the songs and the way he sang them. I replay those memories constantly in my mind.
I remember the little things he did that made me smile. We use to go shopping for ‘provisions’ not groceries 🙂 The way he would correct my Spanish and then tell me I sounded like a three-year old girl was standing behind me and talking.! Lol… The way he would coerce me to make him a sandwich because apparently I made better sandwiches than him.! haha… But then he would go make homemade chilaquiles for us both.! Yummy…
I miss the way we would race each other to the bathroom.!! Because inevitably, we always had to use it at the same time.! I love the fact that on our dining room table we had an assortment of small knick knacks that I was allowed to use as weapons. So when he would say something completely inappropriate, I could throw one of them at him.! The plastic whistle was my personal favorite – I even used it to decorate his birthday cake one year.! And of course I liked that none of these weapons were thrown in my direction if I said something inappropriate 🙂
I miss the way he would sing to me.! Something I always thought I would hate and find cheesy.!! But I grew to love and now miss deeply. Especially, when he would twirl my hair between his fingers while he sang to me. Deep sigh….. Soon… I will see him soon. Until then, te extraño mucho mi amor, mi amigo y te quiero y te amo tanto.!!
I leave you with a song by Enrique Bunberry, “Infinito“. It’s a love song, albeit a very sad love song. But I leave you with it not for it’s sadness, but because I hear my love’s voice in every intonation of this song 🙂 And of course, Happy Anniversary mom and dad.!! I aspire for a love like yours.!